Quote of the Day…
From the comments on a TIME item regarding Jesus Christ’s “may-or-may not have been true or allegory” ressurrection (via Metafilter)
“I’ve already advised the Discovery Channel that if they air this I will cancel my subscription….they should be lucky that I don’t strap explosives around my waste.”
I don’t know what our fanatically-inclined but spelling-challenged friend had in mind, but all I can imagine is a turd wrapped in dynamite. Praise the Lord and pass ‘em the dictionary.
(This post has, per longstanding internet tradition regarding spelling flames, at least one obvious spelling mistake)
Onions and satire and nutjobs, oh my!
Oh. My. $DEITY.
I’ve been using the Internet now for nigh on 12 years (so I’m still a newbie in the Grand Scheme Of Things) but this has got to be one of the most unintentionally funny things I’ve seen online, ever.
On the right is Pete, who is rather zealous in his anti-abortion beliefs, and runs a weblog espousing said beliefs.
On the left is The Onion a long running satirical news website. Almost everyone who’s browsed the web has heard of it and the “dead tree” version can be found in the humour section of most good bookstores.
One day, the two meet. Pete, obviously a bit wanting in the research skills department, finds a 7 year old article that mentions his pet subject
Unfortunately he seems to have swapped his sense of humour and ability to detect irony and satire for one of those Jesus-fish bumper stickers and an old copy of the KJV, so he takes it seriously.
So seriously he writes up a fire and brimstone criticism of the nonexistent, completely made up woman quoted in the Onion article.
Cue the hundred or so comment-makers (on both sides of the abortion fence) who, quite rightly, ridicule Pete for his complete lack of clue and basic comprehension skills. When almost two hundred people point out the obvious and call you - quite correctly - a moron for missing it, you’d think a moment of clarity and a rethink regarding his initial reading would follow.
Ah, but Pete has God on his side (or so he thinks, being a good Christian Soldier) so he must be Right, and follows up with this gem, an attempted backpedal that, to most sentient beings, fails miserably - not even the attempted non sequitur could convince a thinking person that Pete isn’t a one-eyed fanatic utterly unfamiliar with the concept of critical thought or logical deduction.
Comments: Lather, rinse, repeat along the lines of poor dullard Pete just not getting it and reinforcing the stereotype of the anti-abortion protester as a mindless born-again sheep who isn’t really interested in the health and welfare aspect of abortion so much as the behavioural control of the women involved. Good jorb, Petey, you’ve set your cause back a good half century.
Either Pete is the most stupid conservative fundamentalist ever to read past Genesis (or have the Cliff’s Notes read to him) or he’s a genius for getting bulk traffic and trackbacks (from at least Metafilter and Digg as well as my humble self) to his site - if only he’d remembered to add some to his Blogger template 
*chuckle*
The Department For Pulling Demographics Out Of Arses
Found via MetaFilter : Microsoft AdCenter Labs Demonstration Demographics prediction.
Now unless you’re a major character in an Isaac Asimov novel, trying to accurately guess how large groups of people will behave is about as accurate as studying chicken entrials for the same purpose.
But when you have an imperial shitload of money like Microsoft, that’s not a problem - go ahead and do it anyway.
The results for my modest little site are interesting indeed.
It would appear that I only have a modest skew towards the gentlemen (64% male 36% female) which surprised me. Even more so was this:
A bias towards the under 18s? What. The. Fsck?! What are they here for?
The RPM packages? Nope, noone reads those (unless you speak binary)
The pic of Warney/Tara Reid? Oh, god I hope not.
The Cleveland Steamer double entendre on the same page? OH YOU SICK FSCKER!
Tina’s photos would account for the blokes (and the lesbians I guess…)
But the rest of it makes no sense to me, no sir.
Conclusion: Like the Vista ship date, MS BOB and NT security models, methinks that this was simply improvised by someone at MS, for reasons I cannot fathom. But on the other hand, it’s good for a chuckle.
Hey Millsy….
Robert “Millsy” Mills, Australian Idol also-ran and professional handbag: “I can’t get no respect”*
Um, dude - you put your dick in Paris Hilton. I repeat You *WILLINGLY* put your dick in Paris Hilton. You’ll never get the skank taint out of it now.
Ergo, no one is going to want to go near you with a sterilised 10 foot pole. Moving to the USA or Swaziland or Outer Bumfuckistan will not change that.
You may as well cut it off and get a new one.
* With apologies to the late, great Rodney Dangerfield.
